seseorang meninggal tadi pagi

Kisa Gotami lived in Savatthi. She was known as Kisa Gotami because of her slim body. She married a rich young man and a son was born to them. The son died when he was a toddler and Kisa Gotami was stricken with grief. Carrying her dead son, she went everywhere asking for medicine to restore her son to life. People thought she had gone mad. But a wise man seeing her pathetic condition, decided to send her to the Buddha.

He advised her: "Sister, the Buddha is the person you should approach. He has the medicine you want. Go to him."

Thus she went to the Buddha and asked him to give her the medicine that would restore her dead son to life. The Buddha told her to get some mustard seeds from a home where there had been no death. Overjoyed at the prospect of having her son restored to life, Kisa Gotami ran from house to house, begging for some mustard seeds. Everyone was willing to help but she could not find a single home where death had not occurred. The people were only too willing to part with their mustard seeds, but they could not claim to have not lost a dear one in death. As the day dragged on, she realised hers was not the only family that had faced death and that there were more people dead than living. As soon as she realised this, her attitude towards her dead son changed; she was no longer attached to the dead body of her son and she realised how simply the Buddha had taught her a most important lesson: that everything that is born must eventually die.

She buried her dead son and told the Buddha that she could find no family where death had not occurred. Then the Buddha said: "Gotami, you should not think that you are the only one who has lost a son. As you have now realised, death comes to all beings. Before their desires are satiated death takes them away."

-Kisa Gotami and Her Dead Son, taken from http://path.homestead.com/kisagotami.html-

seseorang meninggal tadi pagi. aku tidak mengenalnya dengan baik sebenarnya. seseorang yang aku ingat sebagai seorang perempuan cantik yang penuh semangat hidup. usianya baru saja tiga puluh. anak perempuannya baru beberapa tahun saja. betapa sayap kematian tidak pernah memilih.

aku tidak pernah tahu dia sakit. baru dapat kabar sekitar seminggu yang lalu bahwa dia sempat 'flatline'. lalu bertanya-tanya. ternyata kanker sudah menggerogoti hidupnya selama dua tahun. aku tidak pernah tahu. halaman buku wajahnya dihiasi gambar seorang perempuan cantik yang mengedipkan matanya pada sang pemotret. ternyata sebuah foto yang sengaja dia ambil dari bertahun-tahun sebelum kanker itu menggerogotinya. karena beberapa bulan lalu tubuhnya sudah kehilangan elan, dan rambutnya perlahan-lahan gugur digerogoti kemoterapi.

dia tidak membiarkan orang lain tahu. tidak membiarkan orang jatuh kasihan. dan aku semakin tercenung. semangat hidupnya terpampang menyala-nyala, walaupun aku tahu, hidupnya seperti menunda kekalahan.

dan malam ini, di sebuah kota yang penuh cahaya, sambil memandang menara berwarna jingga yang entah sudah berapa juta kali muncul di berbagai foto dan lukisan, mengingat perempuan yang baru saja meninggal tadi pagi itu aku tiba-tiba merasa sesak nafas. menumpahkan air mata.

apakah di sana sepi? ataukah karena kematian telah ada semenjak adam dan hawa, dunia sana penuh dengan manusia yang telah tiada? apakah di sana penuh cahaya?